Last week I got really frustrated with myself. I’d spent a lot of time working on a big project that didn’t turn out as I planned or get the results that I was hoping for.
I started going down a negative spiral of beating myself up for everything I did wrong and thoughts of giving up were at the forefront of my mind.
The oh so familiar sight of failure was staring at me in the face and I let myself get sucked into the dangerous vortex and swiftly descended into feeling overly sorry for myself.
Later that evening, after drinking a couple of glasses of wine with hubby and enjoying our usual routine of dinner and talking about our day, I noticed a shift in perspective in how I was feeling and began thinking less in terms about my so-called failure and more about the things I could choose to focus my energy on instead.
Thing is - feelings of failure and not being good enough are fleeting - and it’s your choice to either let your circumstances dictate where you are headed or do everything in your power to flip the switch and focus on what you can control.
It got me thinking of all the ways we hold ourselves back - most of the time subconsciously, through habits that we create as a way to ultimately protect ourselves from experiencing any kind of negative feelings.
Being developing our skill of able to experience these negative feelings and getting into the habit of choosing to ‘flip the switch’ and see our experience in a new light is a far more productive way to handle any kind of challenge that comes our way.
I will take a guess that these five habits I'm about to share have shown up for you at one point or another.
So, next time you see yourself slipping into one of these limiting behaviors, make the conscious choice to flip the switch and take control over your own destiny - and your success!
1. Making excuses.
Newsflash: you are in charge of your destiny. While you may not be able to control people around you or events and circumstances, there is heck of a lot you are in control of - your thoughts; your attention and focus; your emotions; your self-confidence; what books you read; the people you spend time with; how kind you are to others; how you invest your money; how you spend your time; and how much you appreciate what you already have.
Flip the script: instead of making excuses for everything you can’t control, shift your perspective and only focus things you can influence.
The ubiquitous nature of social media makes it virtually impossible to escape peeking into other people’s world and seeing how they live or spend their time.
It’s super easy to fall into the trap of constantly comparing yourself to their seemingly ideal existence - I’ve fallen into the trap and believe me it’s not a good place to be!
Here's the thing: comparing yourself to anyone else is the biggest waste of time. It’s not productive and doesn’t actually achieve anything at all - it only serves to makes you feel horrible about yourself.
Instead flip the script: celebrate community over competition. We rise by lifting others, so celebrate people’s wins, because seeing their success and something they have worked hard to achieve is proof that you can do it too - you just have to believe it is possible!
3. Fear of failure.
Success is never guaranteed - there is no way of knowing whether or not your big dream is going to turn out the way you expect it to.
But you know what is worse? Never going for it or trying because you’re worried that you will fail.
I have failed many times (yep, its true!) but every time I’ve chosen to take a leap of faith, regardless of whether it worked out or not, I always learn something new and I used the knowledge I gained to help me navigate my next step - and guess what?
Through my failures, some of the most amazing things have happened that I could never have predicted.
Flip the script: hiding underneath every so-called failure is a world of opportunity - you just need to take a closer look. no experience is ever wasted if you learn from it.
When you have big plans you’re trying to make happen it is so easy to start wishing away the present and future-trip about how amazing your life will be once you’ve achieved XY + Z.
But this is a trap! Not being happy with where you are right now is really like slapping life in the face and saying ‘hey, you’re not good enough’ - which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Every day is yours to make it what you want it to be. Even though there may be a long road ahead on your journey, make a point of enjoying the little things and moments in your day that you stop and celebrate just how far you have come.
Flip the script: make a habit of daily gratitude - your current destination is not your final destination. So be ok with where you are now.
Enjoy the journey - you will never be in this place again. Quit wishing your life away. Life will never be perfect - no matter how successful you are.
"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will" is one of my favorite quotes - probably because I know how much truth there is behind it.
Not believing in yourself and what you are capable of is the biggest thing standing between where you are now and where you want to be.
It takes a consistent practice of building your confidence up and taking small daily steps outside of your comfort zone so you start getting comfortable of what you are actually capable of.
Flip the script: start believing that you are worthy of success, love, happiness and abundance and live your life by taking daily action in accordance with your beliefs - only then will you start to see your life transform beyond your wildest dreams.
I'd love to know - what is the biggest lesson you learned from something you 'failed' at?